world events.
dsab.co.uk - Do you like Disco?
Yo yo yo i'm in a rush trying to get ready for the pub so i'll keep it snappy.
The King of the Coats Jam edit is finally here! Check it out below or the higher quality vimeo version right here!
Tom Simpson of the good ship dsab has just sent me his interview answers in time so have a look at that and be sure to read all about Disco's new job and be sure to rip him about it next time you see him!
The new tee design is complete and will be touchable in about 2 weeks and the Disco web trailer is looking class. Stay Tuned!
capn colin. jul03
dealing skunk and bongs
Brought to you by dsab.
.Keep Freestyle Free
King of the Coats WEBIT!
capn colin. jul03. 8.30pm
HOLLA to the Hamham who has 100% delivered on this, the King of the Coats jam edit. The jam took place back on the 23rd May and was a great day of laughs and stunts at Evolution skatepark in Ayr. I personally feel the video captures the vibe of the day perfectly so once again thanks to everyone who came and to Hamish for the edit. The magazine article won't be in RideUK until next month so keep your eyes peeled for that and enjoy the webit.
Tom Simpson - The Interview
capn colin. jul03. 8.24pm
Another dsab interview to lol you to sleep tonight this time featuring our very own Terrible Tom Simpson! I promise the next one won't be a dsab member...it's just easier this way.
Disco Delights
capn colin. jun25 12.42am
As you may have figured out by now, Disco 'The Cooper' Stu is a big bike, big babe kinda guy. He delivers the clips better than the likes of Homan or Martinez any day of the week and isn't afraid to shout about it. Here for your viewing pleasure is a teaser for the upcoming Disco webit exclusive to dsab.co.uk...obviously.
'But wait!' I hear you cry, 'A simple 3 minute web edit can't have a teaser! That's proposterous!' Well it does so fuck off.
Teez or Coffee? TEEZ!
capn colin. jun10. 6.28pm
Yelt I went and picked up the t-shirts last week and these bad boys are selling like hot cakes! The first batch is going fast so act now and get one before, eh, before I simply have to order more? Aye, deal wae it!
There's a picture of the new orange colour on your right and look forward to a new tee advert coming very soon!
I'm having some problems setting up the payment system on the website at the moment so if you're looking for a tee please don't hesitate to E-mail me with your order. Remember free stickers with every T-shirt and only £7 each!
*IMPORTANT - Fred Murray of the good ship dsab recently had a whole bunch of expensive camera equipment stolen from his flat. If you see ANYCUNT that looks like they shouldn't be dealing with proper camera gear on the streets, ebay, charity shops or whatever then either phone the police or e-mail me asap! Thank You*
Monty's Mansion
capn colin. jun10. 6.15pm
A short while ago, dates don't matter, I found myself driving to Perth with Lafferty when all of a sudden he perks up with, 'You do know we're staying at Colin Montgomerie's house tonight right?' I automatically assumed this was lies and was quickly eating my words when we arrived at the Monty Mansion! Holla! We crashed at Chainsaw's house as he's like Monty's house minder and enjoyed all the perks of comfy couches to sleep on, big ol tele's and the joy of walking around the gardens the next morning with the sun beating down upon us. Check out the pictures below and beware as I get my art fag on...bigstyle!
They're Back
capn colin. may27. 6.35pm
After months without any stock the dsabawbag t-shirt design will be back in late next week! You can pre-order one right here and guarantee yourself a small slice of BMX history. Just drop me an e-mail with the size and colour you're looking for and i'll stick it aside for you...with a smile.
T-shirts are available in the three colours shown plus the all new Orange colour aswell. Tee's are £7.00 each (+P&P if neccessary) and every order comes with free stickers.
New designs in the coming months to look forward to and the merchandise page will be back up and running in no time aswell!
Pre Order: dsab_mail@hotmail.com
It stayed DRY!
capn colin. may27. 6.08pm
Believe it or not the dsab King of the Coats Jam went down on Saturday 23rd May and survived! The rain sucked ass all day long which unfortunately seemed to put alot of people off. Either that or the whole 'GAyrshire' thing might have scared some people away.
Anyway a huge thank you to everyone who came and shredded the night away and took part with a smile. The Death Race was so funny and quite possibly the highlight with the doubles lackey tournament coming a super close bawhair touchingly close tight second.
Such a fun day was had by all (I hope?) and we'll see you all again next year! (at a better start time aswell!)
A big thanks goes to all the sponsors 20twenty, Zeal, fuck bsd wankers poofs, Rockstar energy and RideUK mag.
The webit will be arriving shortly followed by the complete run-down in ride. REET HOLLA!
(see y'all at livi jam!) x
King of the Rain Coats Jam!
capn colin. may19. 5.08pm
FINALLY! We approach the King of the Rain Coats Jam and it's now gonna be even bigger than before! Incase you don't know all the info you need is over on the Event page and the new(ish) flyer is on your right.
We have more prizes, more organisation and the best damn MC on the planet will be coming along to keep you all pumped beyond oblivion!
Do NOT miss this jam. Even if the weather's looking sketchy head down anyways as that proved to be a HUGE mistake last time around. Bring your helmet, bring your bike, bring the beers and we'll supply the good...no wait...GREAT times that y'all are looking for!
Jam kicks off at 6pm, HOLLA!
Pre Party Pics
capn colin. may19. 6.57pm
As it turns out the weather actually got better for the 9th May, alot better. However these things happen and here we are. A bunch of us headed down to stay at Hamham's anyway and got bloody pissed. Pics on the right with more to come in other, more magical ways.
Ding Ding, Round 2 this Saturday!
KotC Jam POSTPONED
capn colin. may09. 4.30.pm
Here's what I posted up on BMX in Scotland about today's jam...
'The jam has unfortunately been POSTPONED, not cancelled, and will not be happening today.
Yes it might stop raining and it might dry up and it might not be windy but there's too many mights and I don't want to go ahead with things only to be dissapointed with the end result. Saltcoats is a bit of a trek for most people so I can't imagine everyone fleeing down at 5/6/7 oclock cause it's a bit dry.
It simply means lower turnout, poorer atmosphere, pisher comps and a generally worse day all round so I reckon it's for the best.
The King of the (rain)Coats Jam has been moved to 2 weeks from now and will take place on SATURDAY 23RD MAY 2009.
Everything remains the same. Comps, times, sponsors etc will all go ahead as planned but we'll just have to wait a little longer i'm afraid and hope for better weather when it comes. If anything this now gives us a chance to improve on some things and make the day go even better. Sorry to anyone who's already there or made special plans etc but these are the risks one runs when holding an outdoor bmx jam in Scotland.
2 weeks from now everyone, spread the word.'
So there you have it. I hope you can all make the new date and be sure to check back here in the coming two weeks for all the info and jam updates.
Jam UPDATE!
capn colin. may08. 3.10pm
OK I know. The weather does not look good for tomorrows jam however, there are a few important things to remember...
First of all we live in Scotland. This means the weather is subject to change dramatically at any given second so rain isn't the end of the world. Secondly the jam does not kick off until 6pm so don't be a mongo and wake up to find it's raining and then assume that the jam is off. We'll have weather reports coming straight from Saltcoats up on the site throughout the day and on BMX in Scotland aswell.
Trust me people this event is gonna rule so at the slightest sniff of dryness get your fuckin ass down to Saltcoats and join the party. No poofy little drops of rain are going to stop the almighty dsab!
Have faith and i'll see you there.
Fergus King at it again
capn colin. may08. 2.57pm
It's that time again everyone! Time to lawl out loud at everyones favourite excuse for a BMXer, Fergus King!
Hamish 'The Ham' Hamilton has put together the first of two edits starring your favourite pathetic drunk at the dsab team meet at my house last year.
Click right about here to watch the vid and get ready for part 2!
Will Fergus make the dsab King of the Coats jam this Saturday? Probably not, no.
Is anyone else sick of...
capn colin. apr30. 6.20pm
hearing about that total gaywad Disco Stu? Me too but unfortunately he's been so super busy trying to become more pro than Sean Lafferty recently that he's absolutely everywhere. Just back from the 20twenty roadtrip and now he's straight up on BMX Union for what can only be described as 'the interview of the year'.
You had a sampler a few weeks back when Disco kicked off the dsab.co.uk interviews and now you're ready for the main event.
Get straight on over to BMX Union and check out this great site and side splitting interview.
More King of the Coats Info
capn colin. apr30. 6.48pm
I hope you haven't forgotten about the dsab BMX jam going down at Saltcoats next Saturday!?! RideUK have signed up to show there support aswell so the sponsor list grows by the second as does the rider list. You came to Dundee and ripped the nails out the wood, get to Saltcoats and rip the concrete out of the fuckin ground!
Stay tuned.
Scary!
capn colin. apr30. 6.43pm
Check out the clip at 1.56 of the video on the right! Oh fuck me that's one scary ass close call. Clean though.
King of the Coats Jam
capn colin. apr21. 4.15pm
Are you excited? You fuckin' should be! The first major outdoor BMX jam of the year will take place on Saturday 9th May 2009 at Evolution Skatepark in Saltcoats. 'But who's running this bound to be totally awesome jam Capn?' Well it is none other than the all mighty DSAB! Yes, yes I know, now wipe that big dirty grin off your face and keep reading...
The dsab King of the Coats Jam is set to be another radtastical day of BMX mischief brought to you by Scotlands premiere BMX party outfit. The jam kicks off at 6pm and continues til 11pm, entry to the park will cost you only £6.00 to ride all day and you can look forward to such hilarious comps as the No Holds Barred Death Race, Step Up Long Jump Thump, the all new Double team Lackey Freestyle Comp plus many more as always. Check all the details HERE and tell your friends!
Best Sponsorship Ever???
capn colin. apr21. 4.08pm
I do believe the title says it all. Well obviously it doesn't really so i'll tell you the rest. dsab's very own Disco 'Martyn Cooper' Stu has just picked up a sponsorship from not one but TWO STRIP CLUBS! Aye you read that correctly, just look how happy he is >>>
Stu is now very proud to be sponsored by dsab, Rockstar Energy, Private Eyes and Liquorice Gentlemens clubs in Dundee and Edinburgh respectively.
You can check out the clubs websites below and check out the Disc rocking some stripclub apparel in the coming days, weeks and months.
If ever there was a time, this is it...
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!
Turns out I was Right
capn colin. apr21. 3.59pm
Hoff did end up texting me hours beforehand 'reminding' me of the Transgression comp which of course I still couldn't go to.
In more positive Hoff related news he did bag himself 3rd place on the day with Disco dsab Stu placing 2nd! HOLLA! Great work guys dsab represent. Of course Disco probably should have got 1st but was bumped off by local Edinburgh shredder B-rad. Y'see this one time I totally beat up Dave and Drew Sowerby for looking at me funny n shit so yeah they're still pretty pissed that they haven't got me back cause i'm so super elusive and cool. That's almost probably maybe why Disco didn't win. Fact.
Big Boys Toys
capn colin. apr10. 12.16am
It's competition time! Get your rat infested arse rings over to Edinburgh tomorrow, more specifically Ocean Terminal, for a night of fashion friendly fun filled frolics!
As you can quite clearly see from the flyer posted opposite the comp is being held at Transgression Park, will be on from 6 til 10pm and there will be two different categories. Yound and Old. B-rad and Sowerby.
I constantly miss these comps and will unfortunately miss this one too but they always seem to get excellent feedback so well worth a visit!
Guarantee Hoff texts me tomorrow or even Saturday with the words...dude, edinburgh, ot, comp, up, for, it, car, rad and weed in some form of order which is supposed to resemble a text. I'll let you know how both go. The jam and the txt bet. Excitin eh?
FUCKIN LIVID!
capn colin. apr10. 12.02am
LividBMX that is. Check out this funny trailer to 'Project Mayhem' The cow half way through starts going her absolute nut! Very entertaining laughing at the stupid and loud isn't it just. Check out the trailer and have a look see on Myspace too.
Disco Dreamland
capn colin. apr06. 7.04pm
TeamSpice superstar Martyn 'Disco Stu' Cooper (Right) has just been hooked up with energy drink giants ROCKSTAR!
Martyn had this to say, "I'm so hyper pumped on hooking up with these awesome Rocking people. I mostly just wanna rock and hang with my friends and rock with y'know some of my bro's and y'know have fun mostly yeah for sure. It's the best mother rockin' day evaar!"
He now joins the likes of Mike Aitken, Cory Nastazio, Ryan Nyquist and Ali Whitton on the pro Rockstar rooster. You might say, he's between a Rock...and a Star place!
In true dsab Style
capn colin. mar25. 12.39am
The online release of '4 Inches of Vert' was delayed by a couple of days. What else do you really expect by now. Anyway, fuck that shit because it is up now and ready for your viewing pleasure.
The one and only dsab dvd was premiered in January of 2008 at Unit23 skatepark and since then has helped us grow to what dsab has become today, slightly more pish.
BMX is Changing, dsab is not.
Filming
capn colin. mar25. 12.35am
Has begun on Disco Stu's upcoming web edit. It's gonna be pure ace n hings so be sure to be excited when that hits the web to accompany some Disco magazine hilarity. Below are some pictures of Monday nights street session in Glasgow. Check the Gibb and Cheesering pic...bangers!
Gecko Sale
capn colin. mar25. 12.32am
There's still a few things left in the GeckoBMX clearout sale that need snapping up immediately. If you are interested in anything at all or are looking for something you can't see, then use the links below to drop either myself or Kristina an enquiring email.
BARGAINS!!!!!!!!!!!
capn colin. mar17. 5.20pm
At last months DundeeSAB Jam the former owner of GeckoBMX shop, Kristina, was supposed to be bringing along a stall full of quality new bike parts and accessories at super LOW prices. Unfortunately complications arose and it never happened. Here for you now on dsab is the list of parts and more importantly CRAZY low prices ON SALE NOW! They're on the right there and if you want to buy or find out more about certain products do not hesitate to get in touch! There's alot of stuff so have a good look...
kcrabbie@btinternet.com - Kristina
dsab_mail@hotmail.com - Capn Colin
You had better be quick! These amazing offers won't last forever!
MAIR EXCLUSIVES
capn colin. mar16. 7.56pm
This time dsab.co.uk brings you a teaser for the upcoming dvd, 'And the 'Zy just followed' brought to you by none other than our very own Hamish 'Most Hated man in BMX' Hamilton.
Hamish's video project, Underdog-Visuals, was responsible for the 2008 'smash', 'Hellbound', which broke box office records! That video was amazing, this will be nothing short of spectacularly amazing. Scottish BMXers, carnage, metal tunes and laughs galore, get that teaser seen tae!
Look out for a full length trailer later on in the year.
Monkey Min
capn colin. mar16. 4.38pm
Marvellous Monkey who also hails from GAyrshire has been giving this editing business a crack himself. Link down below as per.
DundeeSAB Vidz
capn colin. mar08. 11.50pm
The dsab DundeeSAB edit is now online and can be found on the still unfinished 'Channel DSAB' page. I'm not gonna totally redo it but it does need fine tuning so stick with it just now and check the video.
I still can't use Vimeo on the website so it's up on Youtube but there's a link on the right of the TV screen to take you to the Vimeo version.
Alex Donnachie has (of course) made an edit aswell so give that a gander too. It's up on the BSD website and way better than our shitty excuse.
Come back at the end of the week for the full dsab dvd, 4 Inches of Vert!
Webitathon
capn colin. mar03. 4.59am
Just below the jam pics you will 3 links.
One, the link to the dsab KNOB Tour edit. If you havent already seen it, why not? The second, a both hilarious and radicaltastic edit from, surprise surprise, Wee Alex. This epic features dsab superstar Disco Stu McBoyle and a whole host of Perth shredders too. This scrappy youngster rides for 20twenty and has over 70 videos on his vimeo account. I highly suggest you get them watched! (well, some anyway) The third and final link is the new 'wee teaser' button which will feature new and exciting 'wee teasers' as and when they appear. Again, thank you Alex.
DundeeSAB Pics
capn colin. mar03. 4.47am
On your right you will see a whole host of amazing pictures from the last Saturday's(28th) DundeeSAB jam at the Factory. I say pictures from the jam, I mean pictures of drunken partying. Much better I think you'll agree.
A huge thanks to everyone who came along and rode like champions, partied like animals or both. The jam was amazing fun and a dsab edit filmed by deed Paul will be up in a few days. Look out for the inevitable Wee Alex Donnachie edit and the jam rundown in next month's RideukBMX mag including actual pictures of bike riding)
Another huge thanks goes out to all the jam's sponsors for putting up an amazing selection of prizes and display boxes.
BSD - 20twenty - Odessa - Rockstar - RideUK
Thank FUCK!
capn colin. feb24. 6.01pm
The dsab KNOB Tour Vid is online at rideukbmx.com!
In October of 2008 the dsab team embarked on it's first tour. In February of 2009 we bring you the edit. Commited.
DundeeSAB Jam UPDATE
capn colin. feb24. 12.44am
Everything is going swimmingly well in the run up to the first Scottish BMX event of the year. A few things have changed since we last spoke so here's the lowdown.
Wee Alex has very kindly put together a short promo video which can be seen in the 'dsab daze' section below. The edit is rad and Alex is one rad ass editing machine so it works out nicely.
There was supposed to be a bus picking folk up from the train station but unfortunately this has been cancelled. Any problems getting to the park drop us an e-mail asap.
Gecko BMX shop in Glasgow has sadly closed down now but never fear bargain hunters as shop owner Kristina will have a stall set up at the Factory this coming Saturday. There will be a whole selection of BMX parts, clothing and accessories on sale so bring some extra money along and grab yourself a great bargain! Free dsab stickers with every purchase.
JUST ANNOUNCED: Big time superstar pro BMXer will be up from down south to attend! (fuck DUB Jam)
O.T.PAR.T
capn colin. feb24. 2.02am
Some time ago, I forget when exactly, Transgression Skatepark in Edinburgh held a bit of a shindig for some of the locals and to say goodbye to Forbes who is currently off jet setting around the U.S of A. Here's some photees of the nights events.
Video Heaven!
capn colin. feb12. 1.37am
The long awaited dsab KNOB Tour video will finally be online in the next couple of days so keep checking here and rideukbmx.com to see the goods. It has taken a silly amount of time but we're sure you'll enjoy it on some level, even if that happens to be when it ends.
'4 Inches of Vert' the video that has shot dsab to fame and glory will also be online in it's entirity shortly after the tour video goes up. If you like what happens in the tour edit then be sure to witness the marvel of the first ever TeamSpice video when that hits the net late next week.
Sorry all Out of Busyness
capn colin. feb12. 1.25am
It is with great sadness I tell you that GeckoBMX shop in Glasgow will be closing in the next couple of days.
The store was packed with great products and a whole bunch of other weird juggling stuff but the internet and shitty landlords have unfortunately worked against shop owner Kristina.
The final day of trading will be this Saturday the 14th Feb so get down there and grab yourself a great bargain. dsab wishes you all the best in the future Kraydawg.
Fuckin Mingo.
Actually Back in Business this time
capn colin. feb12. 1.18am
OK so last time I lied but things have changed since then. Nae fannyin about let's get you telt that Tom of death metal fame celebrated his 24th birthday recently which resulted in him being drunk very quickly, getting fired out of the club, head baning with Disco and a lone middle aged man and pig squeeeeealing his way through the evening.
The DundeeSAB Jam is on at the end of the month. Get that flyer clicked pronto like!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Back in Business
capn colin. dec16. 12.31am
The website is back in action, myspace updates are coming shortly, there'll be one more smashingly good update before the year is out and oh yeah, the dsab KNOB Tour that went down in October is going to be in Ride mag IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS! Reet + Spice = Rice!
Be fucking certainly positively sure that you check out the mag because it should be fucking treats. After you've done that get back online as in just a few days we'll have the tour edit online here at dsab and over on the Ride UK site aswell.
In the mean time please enjoy this mini update and know that we still love you. Here's some pictures from the trip and from the pre trip meeting in the Captain's quarters. (R.I.P)
We may be back in business but devastatingly the BMX safe haven known simply as 'Purgatory' is no more. It may be gone from our touch but it will live on in memory for eternity. (R.I.P)
We're Off to see the Wizard
capn colin. oct08. 3.26pm
The wonderful wizard of...well..eh...Scotland?
That's right the dsab Team Spice are embarking on our first ever tour as a unit.
The dsab KNOB Tour will last 4 days beginning on Friday 17th October and will continue until Monday 20th. You may have noticed that we have new t-shirts and a new team member which will be accompanying us on the trip aswell as ALL (amazingly) your favourite dsab team riders and some VAG's too. (very average guests)
It's being left pretty loose just now but we will be at Ocean Terminal on the Friday followed by Dundee and Aberdeen on the Saturday. Sunday and Monday are up in the air and I don't really care. The whole trip will be covered by Fred for RideUK magazine and we're taking along plenty of cameras, booze and ideas to ensure this will be a trip to remember! Flyer's on the right >>>
Free the Pete
capn colin. oct08. 3.05pm
To celebrate the new dsab t-shirts and tour I decided it was time to add some new, exciting blood to the team.
We have been running with 7 members now for far too long so I set about finding the perfect candidate for the job.
He had to be a he, drink alot, preferably smoke alot, party alot, have some form of decent patter, ride his bike very fast, live in purgatory and have ginger hair.
I guess that left me with one clear winner...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new dsab TeamSpice member, Pete 'Porno Ginger Purgatory' Gallacher. Check out his new page> Pete
I would also like to bring to your attention that BSD have recently added Sean LAUGHerty to the team and Jonny '20twentys Pish' Mingo has added Dario and Luca Demarco to his team.........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Idiots.
Fred Ex 4000
capn colin. sep23. 5.38pm
Friday the 12th of September saw host to an amazing exhibition of photography and art and as always top dsab socialite, me, was there to sniff the scene.
The show was held at the Studio Warehouse in Glasgow and featured photography from the one, the only, Mr Fred Murray and drawing and sculptures by Tian. They both won a competition out of thousands of entrants to have their work displayed in the gallery and it was clear to see why. The show ran for a week and was a great success with some truly excellent pictures on display and the always glorious bonus of free drink. Check out Kristina's pics on the right of both the exhibition and the debauchery that followed...
The Path to Pete
capn colin. sep23. 5.31pm
This trailer trailed on the night of the dsab video premiere. That was in January. This trailer states that the video will be ready this winter...
I don't think it will happen. I've been to Purgatory, with Pete, and not alot of 'work' gets done unless it involves drink and narcotics.
Genuinely though I can't wait for this to be done.
Squayr Report
capn colin. sep03. 9.28pm
So the Squayr Ayr street Jam has came and gone for another year. Pretty much the same turnout as last year. Far too much rain. Injuries, punctures and Paul. Fuck the negative it still turned out to be a fun day with Hamish's ridiculous line involving the ghetto kicker being the stand out for me and, for the record, attaching your new HD camera to someones head is both hilarious and terrifying at the same time. Lesson learned.
Hopefully be back next year with an early, less rain friendly date and a whole lot more riders!
We all Love TD!
capn colin. sep03. 9.08pm
Transgression Display that is! Psyche.
On Sunday 24th August myself and Disco Stu headed along to the Transgression Skatepark Show at the Edinburgh Festival. The show ran every night from the start of August to the 25th and consisted of demos from fruit booters, plank pushers, wan wheelers, nae wheelers, big wheelers and of course the correct size of wheelers. (BMXers for the hard of thinking)
After arriving pretty late we were told that if we wanted to ride the course it would have to be during the actual demo. More chocolate cake vicar?
Manning up, as we do, we hid under the highly dodgy Pro VIP Area and waited to wow the crowds alongside Neil 'Look it's Keddie' Keddie.
As you may expect, we rocked. After some early jitters the Disc had the crowd in the palm of his hand with huge 3's, pencils, suicides, tucks and even an ever popular Bazzieflip! I even pulled a 360 on a quarter and came out forwards! How u ask? Because the announcer was an idiot thats how. Check the pics and a big thanks to everyone involved and for letting us ride. Hope you do it again next year!
Finally some work! Hamish Hamham has put together an edit of the 'Walla Death Challenge' from the Livi Jam. Yes the same jam that was on about 3 whole weeks ago. Current events? We got em!
Touched by a Strange Man, the Fergus King Story
Hamham is going carazeeee this update and is planning the Squayr Ayr Street Partay for a second Year running.
Aye everyone is already talking about it and no I don't have any new information for you but I still think we should all agree that this is a very positive thing for BMX in general and that those cunts on the tele were going RAPID!
The Usual
Full Name: Tom James Simpson
Location: Crieff, Perthshire, Scotland
Favourite Trick: I cant just have one!!! barspins, tailwhips to frame, pencils, choonty plants, theres so many!
Favourite Bevvy:Vodka redbull/ jager redbull, probally anything with redbull.
Preferred method of death: Through headbanging
Pish or Filler
Chebs or Buttocks – Buttocks
Salt or Pepper – Salt
Dogs or Cats – Dogs, or even better, an catdog, like that old cartoon on nicalodeon!
Cans or Bottles – depends what the drink is, some taste better out of the other, but il go with bottles
Pizza Hut or Dominos – The hut!
Pints or Litres – Pints!
Flat Table or Spinny Whippy Tech – If its to the frame, then whip tech!
Stoned or Steamin – Steamin! cant be fucked waiting on joint smokers!
Rock or Roll – DEATH METAL!!!!
Hamish or Hoff – i wouldnt do either of them
The Serious Stuff
Q: Why do you REALLY ride? The answer ‘because it’s fun’ will not be accepted.
i got asked this by my bro yesterday, and i really cant think of an answer, i rekon its cos iv spent so much time doing it it would be hard to give up completly. i have other intreasts, but none i find as fun or as convenitant. i reckon the reason i ride is i can have fun regardless of whos out or not, its just me i have to worry about, but more people always make it better. but the bottom line is it FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!!!!! haha
Q: So I hear you’re campaigning to have yourself elected as the MC for the next BSD jam? Can you tell us more about that and have you even been elected to take control of the Livi jam mic yet?
hahahahaha, the livi jam doesnt have a choice! its happing at some point! haha, i dont think id be to good at the bsd jam tho, am not good at any jam! i just get so badly affected by all the redbull type drinks that i cant shut up, and i get far to excited! half the stuff i say doesnt make any sence! let the people decide i suppose!
Q: You must have some crazy move planned for this year’s Livi jam. A Water Badgerbadger perhaps?
i want to try something, but am sure its been done, its not that rad tho, so dont get excited, iv just wanted to do it. but perhaps a lawnmower death frame landing one hand barspin would go down a treat.
Q: What’s the best sound in BMX?
i want to say the roar of the crowd when somebody pulls a trick theve really been trying, but am sure uv said that before! so am going to go for the sound of fireworks getting let off by me and disco down a random aberdeen street at luben! hahahaha! that or my mc'ing! hahaha!
Q: Second place in the Death Race at the King of the Coats. Thoughts? Talk us through the race. Do you hate and loath and despise Will McGibbon?
well, first off i was third! so i hate will and graham! plus am yet to recive my prizes from mingo! the race on the other hand was trecherous! i thought i had will on the second berm but i over braked and did to much of a skid and lost it! letting graham thro before i could get back up to speed! bring on next year, revenge will (most likely not) be mine!
Q: If you had to pump another male BMXer who would it be and why?
this question is gay. but seeing as ul just complain i didnt answer it properly, i would go for the one who most looks like a girl, and shit on there chest.
Q: What is thee coolest thing you have ever seen in BMX? Whether it was first hand or in a vid or whatever.
ahhh, damn, thats a good question! video wise, criminal mischeif- van homan section.
first hand, hmmmmm, i reckon it was probly something a friend done, as i tend to find that more impressive than a big american pro doing something. i cant think of anything! its all cool!
Q: Your name is popping up everywhere at the moment T.S you are truly so hot right now. But can you please explain to your fans out there why you look like a shitter version of James Hetfield from Metallica?
i had a hair cut......
but il take shit james hetfeild over no james hetfeild! oh yeah!
Q: When was the last time you spent ages trying, but not landing, a trick that you know you can do comfortably?
yesterday, barspin the hip, i took like 10 bitch runs and got so pissed off as i usually do it like 50 times everytime i go down there! did one then i was fine again, musta had a mental block! so the answer is d!
Q: When this happened did you:
A) Piss off home like a little sissy girl?
B) Keep trying until you were so badly hurt you couldn’t possibly keep going like a macho bikestunt hardman?
C) Try something else like a poofy quitter wank?
D) Eventually pull it clean and be happy yet relieved but have an underlying feeling of sickness and hate towards yourself and your bike but because you just spent the last 37 minutes playing mind games with the fucking army of voices in your head telling you to do different things at the moment of truth?
E) Hurt yourself just a tiny wee bit and decide it really wasn’t worth the effort?
F) All of the above with crying?
Q: Your Metal Reviews on the dsab website are being dropped, as I understand it, and I have you doing different types of reviews now on things like BMX dvd’s, magazines and web edits etc. Can you tell us when we’ll be able to see them online and also about your shock at me just telling you?
eh, u told me this like 2weeks ago! fucking stoners! hahaha! am cool with that as long as u give me some ideas on what u want reveiwd! i was thinking the acdc concert i went to on tuesday at hamden! it was fucking amazing and i want to rub it in how u missed it! hahaha. that or a dvd.....
Q: And finally, who would win in a fight between yourself….and Disco Stu?*
*Disco’s Answer - Pah, don’t make me laugh. He might be able to smash through tables better than Mick Foley but he lacks the lightning reflexes and drunken UFC style of The Disc!!*
i think it would be a close battle, and disco is getting better at breaking fences, but he lacks the weight advantage, and a sock on his hand (mick foley special move), so am saying me! hahaha!
On behalf of dsab I’d like to thank you for your time, your answers and above all, your honesty.
.dsab daze
'I'll tell you what it is pal...
capn colin. jul03. 8.39pm
I'm looking to be charged £6.49 for an inner tube that costs no more than 50p to make. Can you help me bud?' 'Why of course I can! I'm Disco Stu (pro bmx athlete) and helping idiots to be overcharged by HalFRAUDS is my new job!'
'Can I interest you in some windscreen washer fluid or shite hand pumps?'
Yes, it's true. Disco has sold his soul and now works in Halfords in Dundee. At least now he has a job and can further try to imitate his life long hero, me.
He's at it again the cunt
capn colin. jun25. 2.44am
Yes everyones favourite bawbag is at again. Trying desperately to get kicked off the team in order to imitate Danny MacAskill on those poofy mountain bikes. Fud. So? Is the mountain munching, non bmx owning, stupid voice having wankstain off the infamous Team Spice? Time will tell. A poor King of the Coats web edit could spell disastre for our hairy ham hoofter. Watch this space.
Captain Tom?
capn colin. jun25. 2.37am
Imagine my shock and surprise when the cabin boy ran in to tell me of Tom's mutiny! Excitingly scary as it was the fear quickly passed as I realised Captain Tom's is in fact a music shop website. There's a link below explaining the hilarious yet complex humour involved in this particular post. It's not particularly great or anything, to be honest I haven't even looked at the site properly, the name does have a mildly related dsab link though.
I shouldn't be allowed to post this shit. The joys of the world wide web eh?
Hoff! There it is...
capn colin. jun10. 6.54pm
Wooft it must be a slow news day when Hoff is phoning me up with updates! ; ) Anyway after what may be years of threatening threats to re-do his bike and add both rear AND front brakes...he has done it.
Hoff was off his bike the last few weeks with yet another fucked ankle type issue. This has allowed him to totally change his set-up with talk of yet more mod's to come.
Since Hoff lives in the stone ages I can't show you any pics so instead I have chosen one at random from the internet. I'll post one up soon but in the mean time you can join Hoff and some other dsab members on Hoff's new Myspace page! Wonders will never cease.
King of the Coats "Photos"
capn colin. may27. 5.59pm
I use the term photos very loosely as yes, they are technically pictures but realistically they're so shit that even i'm slightly embaressed. I was way too busy to take any pics so you'll just have to wait until the article in Ride or if anyone has some good ones get them emailed to me here!
Freds are good though.
Does the painting ever end?
capn colin. may19. 4.10pm
No, no it does not. My bike was pissing me off recently so out came the paint cans, marker pen, GT85 and rather alarmingly, stunt pegs!
I usually like to spend a few days sanding and preping my bike for a fancy dan spray job but really could not be bothered this time so instead opted for the quick as a flash one night new bike mission.
The purple side is the only spray I had left complete with grass stain effect while the blue side is good ol fashioned house paint which was recently applied to the bathroom. My forks and bars were still partly white from Fergus' vicious attack on the dsab KNoB tour so out came the magic marker and they now look back to their best. As do my stem and rims which also received the marker treatment. Last but not least...pegs. It's been a long, looooong time since I ran a set of pegs and it was finally time for a change. Will it be successful? Only time will tell.
For a long time now
capn colin. may19. 4.01pm
I've been waiting to put this video up. Yes it is skateboarding but not like you know it! The guy is called William Spencer and he is arguably the best skater ever in my wisdom filled opinion. I posted an older section of his many months back and came across this one a few weeks back now and was literally blown across the room landing safely in a pile of clothes waiting for the iron. Press play already...
The Interviews Continue!
capn colin. may08. 2.18pm
Aye you well thought there was gonna be one then i'd not bother my arse again. Psyche.
From dsab superstar Disco Stu to bsd used to be supererstar Dean Evans!
Dean has been one of Scotland's top BMXers for several years now and like all the others he has now turned his attention to the joys of alcohol. Let's find out what Dean had to say for himself when we met up (via email) last week...
AmsterDAMN that was fun!
capn colin. apr30. 6.06pm
So as you may have already read I returned from Amsterdam on Tuesday. What a place. Everything you've heard is true and so much more.
I was away for 6 days taking in the smoke, sex and lil bit of sunshine with my 3 mates Robbie, Paul and Owen and staying with Owen's dad who lives out there. Jammy bas.
If you want to know more about my bikeless trip please don't hesitate to ask me about the following subjects...
Losing front teeth, spewing in bed, are the Van Gogh paintings really real, hookers and their chebs, hookers and their fuds, hookers that are hingin to bits, smoking my LEG AFF, beer tours, babes on bikes, dead birds in sandwich bags, partying myself in clubs then 2 seperate houses before pissing on some bawbag's clothes, floor and walls and anything else you may want to know. It would simply take too long to tell you in detail here.
I'll leave you with one piece of advice, go to Amsterdam.
Coverage
capn colin. apr21. 10.40pm
Check out this months RideUK magazine and turn to the Livi Skatepark article on page125 for two wonderful reasons. Firstly it's a great article about the finest park ever built and it was written by dsab's very close friend and lover, Fred Murray.
Secondly you'll see a big dirty beaming picture of what looks like a ginger blur being followed by a potato. That in itself is hilarious but when you realise the blur is none other than Porno Pete Gallacher (being followed by Gogo) it suddenly gets a whole lot more hilarious! Check out issue 127 of Ride and check out Pete's mush!
Hamham Poopoo
capn colin. apr 21. 11.57pm
It's late i'm going to Amsterdam tomorrow and I can't think how to write this in any sort of funny manner.
Ham 'Hamish Hamilton' Ham recently found out from his neighbour downstairs that a pipe was leaking into their living room. Surprised yet uninterested Hamish did some investigating to find that it's actually the shite, piss, spunk and spit filled pipe from his toilet that is leaking out and down onto his unsuspecting neighbours! LOLz! They're cunts anyway.
Disco Stu Interviu!
capn colin. apr10. 12.40am
Oh tits yeah! The dsab website is proud to bring you the first of many hard hitting interviews coming your way! We'll be interviewing the biggest stars in BMX today and with the questions that no one else is afraid to ask...
Let's kick things off with the man of the hour. Ladies and Gentlemen if you'll look to your left, Mr Martyn 'Disco Stu' Coopero!
Local Exposure to the MAX!
capn colin. apr10. 12.46am
This weeks issue of the infamous Airdrie and Coatbridge Advertiser went on sale on Wednesday 08 April. In it is the most mind blowingly awesome article this small town newspaper has ever seen...
'BMX club's philosophy - have lots and lots of fun'
Yep, that's the actual headline. My mate Robbie Kennedy is studying journalism and was doing his placement at the Advertiser when he asked if i'd be interested in doing an interview for a story on dsab in the local paper.
Lolatort but AYEatort immediately sprung to mind. The article actually looks really good so thank you to Robbie and there's a couple of pictures in the paper aswell (left) I never thought i'd see the day Disco was in the Advertiser. He's so pro. Way pro-er than Lafferty.
Full article ONLINE HERE! (Editor's Pick no less)
Style-O-Meter Poll Results
capn colin. apr07. 7.38pm
Surprise, surprise the Turndoon won the last poll. I think everyone's afraid of Gogo. Sadly the Lookback came in last with the Invert and Tabletop coming a joint second. New, less interesting poll up in a couple days!
The Now Infamous...
capn colin. apr06. 6.24pm
dsab baws t-shirts have been out of stock for a short while now and still are. That is all.
Really though more baws t-shirts will be available very soon including a special edition orange colour aswell. Look forward to that and to a brand new dsab tshirt aswell. Details to follow. Give it time.
Rock and Roll all Night...
capn colin. mar 25. 12.17am
And party evAree...night I suppose. Here's some photos of a recent drinking and JYNTZ session at Kristina's place. We headed there after watching The Regiment play in Ivory Blacks. I've not been in that place since it was strawberry fields! Anyways hit that link to check them out. Rock n roll radness.
Nothin Doin
capn colin. mar17. 5.15pm
The 'vhs bmx lol' section has been put through the virtual shredder in order to allow more space for other hings. Any funny/stupid/weird videos will probably appear here now instead.
Ironically, or stupidly as the case may be, the update I decide to make this section of the home/news page bigger it turns out I have nothing to fill it with. Here's some of Cheesering's pictures from DundeeSAB. No I did not ask his permission and I can't imagine he really cares either. Thanks in advance Cheeserz!
Super EXCLUSIVE
capn colin. mar03. 4.52pm
Well admittedly it's a pish super exclusive but it is one none the less. In the tour article a few months back a few sections of text never made the magazine. Here for you now, are those missing parchments. The first is the original intro by Ham which needed to taken down a few notches for rather obvious opening line content. The second, by Colin, is an accurate tale of a former, 'Most Hated man in BMX' and the horrifying destruction that is technically, his fault. What a bsdard.
Waste
capn colin. feb24. 2.11am
Myself, Pete and Fred made the long trip up to Aberdoom yestreday to attend Pete's court hearing over the 'drunk driving' incident that took place on the now infamous yet undocumented dsab KNOB Tour. We went all the way there, without our bikes, to discover that the hearing was now being changed to mid June. Waste. Thanks to John for the sleeeeeeeeep and Fred for the weeeeeeeed! Made it worth while.
Settling In Nicely
capn colin. feb12. 12.45am
You will all be pleased to hear that new superstar dsab pro team rider, Pistol McPorno Pete, is settling in nicely to his role of Ginger speed blur.
Unfortunately Pete is still in trouble with the law, still in trouble with the rents, the gaffer, the wife, the matrix and the local church. Fuck the lot of them Pedro. BMX loves you.
Suck Me Sideways!
capn colin. feb12. 12.39am
Hoff has tragically gone colourblind in a 'poke in the eye' type accident. So much so that he has inadvertantly painted his bike red!
When asked about his missing trademark yellow bike Hoff replied, 'Buh?'
Be sure to check back in about a week when he'll probably have painted it yellow again.
Not Sure How?
capn colin. feb12. 2.40am
But i've successfully managed to delete all the other 'news' that was here. Ho hum. Now instead of the old dsab daze news you can read the freshly deleted 'vhs bmx lol' section...
...............
Comedy Hit
capn colin. mar03. 5.16pm
Some comedy this time around with the double genius of Karl Pilkington and Scotland's own Limmy. If you haven't heard of either or love them to wee itsy bits , now is the time to rofflz. Part 1 of Karl Pilkingston's Satisfied fool and the link to limmy.com should provide plenty of sheer quality laughs for you and all the family.
The Making Of...
capn colin. feb12. 12.29am
the new DundeeSAB flyer has been long and tough but it has arrived. Team effort, commitment, hardwork and stamina were all put to the test on this grulling, week long photoshoot. Here's some highlights >>>
Turns Oot
capn colin. feb12. 12.22am
Hoff is a bender after all!
Exhibit A - The photo below. lolz
Exhibit B - The 'Hoff out the closet' part of the tour video. Fact.
Geez a tenner.
Wingin' It
capn colin. dec16. 12.45am
I am so tired and can't think of anything else to put here at the moment so here you go. I was just gonna fire this straight onto the BMX in Scotland forum but desperate times...
I decided to watch 'Lord of the Rings, The Return of the King' the other day when I came in from work. Within the very second opening credit lay a wonderful secret! Turns oot, the guy with the hottest sister in BMX is not only the oldest rider alive but also a fairly big part of some of the biggest movies ever made. I apologise for the naff pics but lolz. Factual investigation, that's how I roll...
...has still not won...
capn colin. dec16. 8.52pm
in the most 'recent' vote! I'll leave this up and will put the winning section online in the last update of the year. Get your final votes in! Incase you weren't aware it's on the right side of the page >>>
And the Winner...
capn colin. oct08. 3.26pm
of the last poll - 'Who would win in a square go, Dario vs Luca' is...
Dario with 53% of the vote! Thanks to all those who took part and check out the new poll on the right hand side of this page. Let voting commence!
Rainy Daze...
capn colin. oct07. 3.47pm
Bring out the raddest sessions!
So there we were. Myself and Pedro. All set to head up the park. Rain.
Twas time to put the positive hats on and simply bust out the moves wherever was dry. The flat seemed like the most obvious destination. Geography wise.
The Pete bonanza continues! >>>
Ah fuckin hate...
capn colin. sep23. 8.46pm
This cunt >>>
How balls does that look?
Are you a boy? Are you twelve? Mon see a film wae motors and baldy cunts. Fuck Yeah!
Mind When...
capn colin. sep03. 10.01pm
BSD were cool? No me neither but here's a video that argues otherwise.
What it is...
capn colin. aug21. 5.08pm
is this...
In this section i'll fire up all kinds of tubular stunt videos and any other shite I can find to waste your precious time with.
Please enjoy Fergus looking queer (for the second time in this single update) and some Americans. The first two American starletts make me want to die a slow and horrible death. The third makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and puts a smile on my face. Rodney Mullen. Wooft.
Solve the Fergus words and picture puzzle by clicking on them in the correct order to reveal a secret message and win nothing!
WorldWideWanks
dsab.co.uk - 2009
